My son is 5 days old and I have tried to breast feed, I know all the benefits and feel that it is a great choice, how ever we have serious complications; he wont lack on, I am too big, and he doesnt eat enough to prevent me from terrible engorment, so I have decided to exclusively pump, but I cant help but to feel terribely like a failure... I dont know where to turn for resources or info on exclusive pump feeding.. again I feel like a failure..















and on top of everything I took him to the doctor today and he has lost weight, I just feel like the worlds worst mom.. I cant even take care of my child..

You are doing a great job! My son was born 11 weeks early and had to be on a feeding tube so I pumped breast milk for him for the 10 weeks he was in the hospital. He had a hard time latching on too, and when he came home I had to switch him to formula because I was not making enough milk for him. He is now 2 1/2, and he is very healthy, active, and we have an incredibly strong bond, even though I could not actually breastfeed him. Don't let people tell you that you are a failure! And babies almost always lose weight after being born, but it will come back soon.

Hi Danielle, Don't despair...you are not the only woman this has happened to...I was so engorged they called me Dolly Parton!!! I did not think it was very funny at the time. Try expressing some milk before the baby nurses because..like you have noticed when you are engorged it is very difficult for the baby to latch on. Expressing a bit of milk first won't keep the baby from getting what he needs and your milk will begin to regulate to what the baby's needs are.















Good luck to you

You can get support with breastfeeding at laleche league.































Don't feel like a failure though. Not everyone can breast feed. You are trying and that's what counts. Did you doctor tell you all babies lose some weight after they are born.















Try to bottle feed to supplement inbetween pumping.































www.lalecheleague.org

Just do your best and see a lactation consultant. They will be able to help you out.

That is totally not true. You are a great mom. If your not happy than your baby is going to sense that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with pumping and supplementing. My daughter is five and is in excellent health and is very smart for her age. (her teacher told me so) I only got to breast feed for 4 days. You are not a failure. Sometimes this stuff happens and you shouldn't feel bad at all. There is just too much pressure. You'll be OK, sorry I don't have any resources for you, but coming from another mom that didn't breast feed that long, it will be OK.

Do not feel bad, ever! You are not a bad mom 'cause you're not breastfeeding, sometimes it just doesnt work out but that doesn't make you any worse. Pump or switch to formula. However if you really want to give it a try , go to La Leche League website, you can find consultant in your area, they have regular meeting you can go to or there's usually a number of somebody in your area you can call and just ask about anything you need to know. And they are specialists, they really know what they're talking about, I got help from them with my second child.

yes 99% of women CAN breastfeed and you CAN do this...you know you are making the milk...so you need some help































and he is only 5 days old......keep trying....and him eating enough won't prevent you from engorging....i also made MASS amounts of milk with my daughter and she ate very well....and 30 minutes later my milk machine boobies were full and leaking and all over again































if you are producing large amounts of milk then go with it!!...you know how when he nurses on one breast the other starts gushing and spraying the walls?...haaaaa....no really































then have a pump handy to pump that milk and start building up your frozen supply!































and keep trying to latch him!...and get hands on help from La Leche League or a lactation consultant































before you know it you will be breastfeeding like a pro and your milk production WILL settle into a routine































and yes newborns lose weight....that is normal...what you need to watch for is his output in pee and poop































and you are also recovering from the birth, you are hormonal, tired, bla bla bla .....recognize that but persevere my love































the complications you have now are worth every bit of your future breastfeeding experience!..keep the faith and do not accept anything less for your son....you both deserve this































and please don't supplement with formula!...that will be the quickest way to sabatage yourself and don't let a doctor tell you otherwise...most doctors don't know s hit about breastfeeding

babys are expected to lose waight..if you are giving him brest milk exclusivly than he will re gain his birth waight in about 3 weeks.















brest feeding is a life choice and is not for every one. as his mother you have the right to make that deshion. i am of the belif that no one can take care of your child better than you! i am shure yuo are doing a terrfic job and youe little one will grow to be a happy healty well adjusted adult thanks to having a grate mother like you. don't second guess your self and if you have seirous doughts than call your ped. they understand that first time mothers get worried easily!















































The "baby blues" have always been viewed as a normal part of the postpartum period. Usually starting between the third and fifth day after delivery, feelings of mild depression, crying spells, anxiety, irritability, and mood swings occur in as many as 85% of women. Because this expected phase of mothering is so common, and usually resolves after a few days without any intervention, health care professionals often ignored these symptoms, and left the new mothers and families to deal with it on their own.































In the past few years, mothers and doctors have become more aware of the high incidence of postpartum blues. They are realizing that often the "blues" are much more than a temporary normal phase that "every mother goes through." Some mothers will continue into a more severe depression that, if ignored and untreated, can have severe consequences for the new mother and baby.































Postpartum Depression occurs in 10 to 15 percent of deliveries. It is much more than the standard "baby blues" discussed above. Most cases begin within the first few weeks after delivery, but onset can be delayed for several months. Symptoms include:















































Depressed mood















Agitation















Fatigue















Lack of interest in pleasurable activities















Poor concentration and decision making















Poor appetite















Insomnia















Feelings of failure as a mother















Guilt















Unusual worry over infant's health















Suicidal thoughts















How can you distinguish the difference between routine baby blues and postpartum depression? To diagnose postpartum depression, the following criteria must be met:















































Symptoms persist for more than 2 weeks















Depressed mood or lack of interest in pleasurable activities must occur much of the day, almost every day















At least four of the remaining symptoms must be present















Other characteristics of postpartum depression that emphasize the importance of prevention and treatment for this disorder include:















































It affects 30 percent of adolescent deliveries.















Many cases last more than six months, and untreated, can persist for over a year.















Many women will go on to have recurrent psychiatric disorders year after the postpartum depression resolves.















In moderate to severe cases, some women will refuse to have any more children.















Children of mothers with postpartum depression have a higher risk of behavioral problems and show lower scores on intellectual testing.















Untreated, postpartum depression can have a devastating impact on the mother/infant relationship.















Because the ramifications of this disorder are so widespread, it is extremely important to identify prenatally those women who are at higher risk. Factors include:















































History of a mood disorder prior to pregnancy. One half of women with postpartum depression will have such a prior history.















Postpartum depression with a previous child. There is a 30 percent chance of having the disorder with subsequent children.















Education about this disorder during prenatal classes can make families more aware of the risk factors and signs to watch for during the early postpartum weeks.































It is unclear exactly what causes postpartum depression, but research has shown that genetic risk, situational stresses, changes in a variety of hormones, and changes in certain chemicals in the brain may all play a roll in triggering this disorder.































Treating postpartum depression















Most uncomplicated cases can be managed by an OB/GYN with antidepressant medications. The two most common types are tricyclic antidepressants (TCA's) and serotonin reuptake inhibitors (SRI's). Counseling and support groups are an important part of treatment, as are regular exercise, good nutrition, and a supportive family.































good luck and congrats

Dont feel bad, i felt this same way but its only because everyone tells you to breast feed and they look down on you for not breasfeeding. Its totally normal for your baby to loose weight at first, as long as with in 1-2 weeks they ging some wieght, then your baby is fine. Dont worry about the pumping he as atleast still getting breast milk. My best friend couldnt breast feed beacause she ended up having kidney infections which made her really sick so she was on medication and had to resort to formula for her baby, she too felt incredibly guilty about it but there was nothing she could do. Have you gone to a WIC office to try and see if someone could help you with this? WIC's job is to help women with breastfeeding, and if not that atleast they can help with pumping techniques so that you still produce enough breast milk. I hope everything gets better and really dont feel like the worst mom, some people abondon their kids and you cared so much about your baby you came onto this site for advice, so your doing something about it you havent failed your child. Good Luck.............