I am almost 5 months along, and my husband and I have had sex twice in that time. The last time was over 7 weeks ago. I know he doesn't find me attractive right now, and I can see why.

Ours was very much a planned pregnancy, we were using a fertility monitor and everything. There is no question how thrilled he is about our baby. He still tells me I'm pretty and tells me over and over how much he loves me. Just no sex.

My concern is for the health of my marriage. Sex is a huge and important part of a healthy marriage in my opinion, and it worries me that we aren't having any.

So often you hear of men who stop having sex with their wives when they get fat and then end up cheating. I honestly do not believe my husband would do that to me. I know it seems naive, but he has been cheated on before and knows how it feels, and he also knows if he did that everything would be over with us. I just don't think he would do that.

I'm of course very emotional right now, and my self esteem is SO LOW. I guess I'm just looking to vent a little (sometimes it helps to put things out there) and maybe a few e-hugs to make me feel better. I know that what I need to do is talk to him about how this is all making me feel, but my horror is that he will then feel obligated to have sex with me, and that would be just awful.

Maybe its not you at all.. Perhaps he is afriad that he would be hurting the baby.. It my sound silly, but seriously, it might be how he is feeling. Talk to him about it and find out why he is not interested in sex.

I have the opposite problem from you, dh wants to have sex.. I just havent been able to because I feel like crap. I dont feel attractive AND I am afraid I will start dry heaving during sex. I feel bad. Its been since the end of August since we have, and I know he wants to. I just am so sick all the time... not to mention that nightly I have to put the progesterone inserts up there.

I say talk to him, find out what his apprehension is, I bet its the baby getting hurt thing, and then explain to him that its perfectly safe...

HUGS TO YOU!

I feel for you. I was told by my doctor to abstain from sex for the first trimester because I was spotting. We began to have some after that, but it wasn't the same. Then, when we found out it was a boy, something really got to him about that. (Some weird notion that his you know would come into contact with his son or something) which is absolutely ridiculous. Now nothing

This reminds me of a scene in the movie "Knocked Up".

*HUG*

Do you try to get him in the mood at all?
maybe he thinks you aren't up for it.
talk to him!!!!

good luck

*HUGS*

Thought I'd stop and send you a hug. Hope everything works out for you. You do need to sit down and discuss the issue with him. It's the only way to find out what's going on as far as he's concerned and hopefully resolve the problem. Good luck to you.

sometimes (alot of times) guys don't say why they feel a certain way, and we women are good at filling in the blanks and just assuming why, and usually the result is, we think it's our fault!

when my husband and I were dating we talked alot about past relationships, and I distinctly remember him saying that when his x-wife was pregnant she would always want to, and he wouldn't. He said looking back, she probably thought it because he was unattracted to her, and he felt bad about that, but in truth, he was more attracted to her than ever.. it was just really because it creaped him out that there was a baby growing there (a girl too) and the thought of his "thing"haha, being so close to the baby really bothered him.

when we found out we were pregnant, I immediately remembered this, and was like "oh no" you got to get over that! cuz I'm not going without for nine months!haha

we talked it through, I showed him pregnancy books, went online with him, and showed him how pregnancy is actually enhanced by sex, and helps with labor and delivery. Some guys just need more reassurance, and to be shown how the baby is completely and totally protected in it's own sac, and it completely unphased and unaware with what it's parents are doing. I also told him that the baby is usually rocked to sleep, and he seemed to like the thought of this alot. I also make it a point to never bring up "baby" or anything pregnancy before or during sex. I focus on him.

I could tell the first time after I started showing was difficult for him, but he's discovered that pregnancy sex is like no other, and the inimacy is wonderful..I've created a monster!lol So communication is key I think.
good luck!~

I took a human sexuality class this summer (not trying to say that I'm an expert in the subject), my professor warned that it takes men some time to get used to thier new view of you- that you are a mother.
I thought it was interesting, the psychology behind it that is.
My fiance has been deployed the whole time we have known, so it'll be interesting to see if it has any effect when the reality sinks in after he gets back. (3 more weeks )
Best of luck to you! I hope that it's nothing personal, and that he is just backing off a bit because of the newness of it.
Also some guys don't know what your limitations are, or wether or not there are any regarding sex. I know that in my pregnancy book there is a "for dads" section and it says things like "it's ok to have sex, you won't hurt the baby" and things like that.

Again, I hope everything works out. I suggest you bring up your concerns to him, so you can talk it out and find out what he is thinking.

hi there. I'm a man, husband of the woman that owns this account, maybe I can help. I don't think she's active here, so perhaps she won't mind if I borrow her account? I don't know how it is for anyone else, and admittedly she's only 8 weeks or something along, I try to avoid times and dates and such, I'm an impatient person if I know I'll just count and go crazy , anyway, sex with pregnant women from a guys perspective is what you want.

I can only share my experience and how I felt. First off, I love my wife, I love having sex with her..but we're newly weds, so my opinion doesn't matter, you know how it is lol. At first I was afraid of hurting the baby, maybe it's that? I know at first I was TERRIFIED to touch her because I was afraid of hurting the baby and then it would be all my fault if she lost it or it came out wrong, but in the weeks since we found out we're pregnant, I've done my research and learned it's fine if not encouraged and have gotten over my fear of doing any damage. We now have a healthy sexlife. Perhaps, if you're husband is like me, research into it could help, reassure him the baby is protected by the goo inside of you and he can have at you as he likes. (Avoid technical terms, men find gynecology repulsive...I like "goo" and no details thank you) Also, once I realized how deep the uterus actually is and doing simple math, realized that no matter how large I thought my member was there was no way I could hit the baby, I relaxed more. LOL. Ever since I took the time to get informed, I can't keep my hands off her and we do it more than before we got pregnant.

But for me personally...pregnant chicks have this GLOW that I find so hot, even my wife has that already, a vibrance she normally doesn't have normally. Honestly I can't keep my hands off her. Guys talk about these things, and honestly I've never heard another man mention not finding his wife just absolutely hot during her pregnancy. Alot of us are afraid to touch you, some of us don't feel like YOU want us as much, and for many of us the damn mood swings make you unapproachable.

also...why is there no man forum? We're pregnant with you ladies, and we have problems too -.-

Ah yes, the mood swings. That's my BF's biggest reason for not giving me the attention I want. Then again, there are times when I take a step back and am able to realize just how badly I may have treated him and I can't blame him for wanting to keep a distance.

I too would like to know why there aren't more forums for men. Or even better, co-ed forums. That would be good, then we could all learn from each other.