Ok so here is our history, any advice is appreciate. My Husband and I have been together since sophomore year of high school(7 years this feb). We have never had any big falling outs and have never broke up. We have lived with each other for the past 4 years(right out of high school), lived in another state for two years moved back to our home state to be close to our families. We got married this past June(it was a perfect day )and bought our first house in August. I am 22(almost 23) and he is also 22. We have discussed kids many times and both would like a whole broad 6(if we can support that many of coarse) When we got married he said he wanted to wait till we had a house to try to have kids, so I agreed. We talked after we moved into our house in August and decided we didnt want to start trying yet but would leave the topic open for discussion in the future. I have wanted to have children for about 2 years now and have been willing to wait because I realized it wasn't the ideal time for us financially. I am a nanny and he is a salesmen he is also in his junior year of college(bio-medical engineer). Our families aren't opposed to us having children but they would like us to wait till DH is done with school. But DH and I dont agree with our families there because once he is done with this degree he will go for his masters and doctorate and will probably be in school most his adult life because he loves it. So here is my dilemma, I want to have a child, I love kids and it just seems like it is time to TTC. I have brought this up joking to him a couple time the past week and he has joked back. Well then two nights ago we had sex and he didn't go get a condom, and then again last night. So I was getting excited, thinking he is finally ready to try. Then he calls me today and says in amongst conversation that he needs to go get condoms. I just kind of ignored it because my heart felt like it was dropping and I am so confused. I don't know how long my cycle is but I believe it is about 28 days which would mean we had sex without protection last night and the night before and that is when I would have ovulated. I don't know what to do, I know I cant pressure him into this but I will be so disappointed if he isn't ready. I need to have a serious talk with him tonight but what if he says he isn't ready, I am going to be upset and there is a chance I could have already conceived, then what??? The only reason he says he isn't ready in the past is because we don't make enough money but I think if we waited till we could afford a child it would never happen. We make enough to pay bills, house payment and still have some left over. Anyone else's DH send them mixed messages! What should I do?

I think we have all been in your shows. i know that I was ready to marry before DH and ready to have kids before DH. The only thing he was ready for first was to buy the house. I realize that y'all have been together a long time but the average first pregnancy for a woman is 25. I'd stress to him that you are eager to know where he stands TINE wise. Is he thinking another year? What is his hold up? Go from there and negotiate.

I agree with firstchild... the only thing you can do is really sit and have a serious talk... My hubby and I have discussed it on occasions but seriously discussed it one day and both agreed that yes this is the time. That way there are no surprises or last minute misunderstandings. Better to be on the same page. So far trying to conceive can be somewhat of an emotional journey. It's better you're a team on the same page. Good luck!

I talk to the DH last night and he said he is ready to start trying. Although he doesnt want me to tell any of our family and friends until after I am actually pregnant. he said this is very personal for him and I can respect that.

So last night was the third night in a row without protection and I am suppose to be ovulating sometime this weekend! Wish us luck!

I only wish you the best of luck in this situation. You do need to sit down with him and have a serious discussion about it. Don't assume that just because he's not using condoms that he's ready.

My BF and I had discussed having a family. He was more excited about it than I was. That was until I became pregnant. Since then he's distanced himself from the entire relationship. Though he still pays the bills, there is absolutely no intimacy from him, even during sex (and it makes me feel used). I feel as though he no longer cares about me nor this baby and he doesn't understand that it's because of the way he's been acting lately that I feel that way.

I agree with kizmet, you need to sit down and have a serious discussion with him and never assume.

I remember assuming that my partner wanted to have children when he suggested that I stop taking the pill, but he only suggested it because it was giving me headaches and he then went out and bought condoms. I remember getting my hopes up then being crushed when I realised he wasn't on the same wave length. Then I got mad at myself for 'assuming' and not talking to him about it. Men don't take hints well!

I was with my partner for 5 years before he finally agreed to have a baby with me. He has been hurt before (ex wife went interstate with his child and now he can't contact them...). I was patient with him because of this.

It sounds like your husband definately wants children but is just waiting for the right time. I know it's frustrating as a women becuase we tend to get more clucky than men but just be patient with him, he will come around. He probably doesn't even know how serious you are about wanting children, he obviously knows that you want children but doesn't know how much you are hurting over this. Time to have that talk me thinks!!

Ok i am just going to ignore the last reply, how childish. Thanks for the reassurance everyone. I did sit down with my DH last night and we talked, a long heartfelt discussion. He told me he didn't think i was being serious because i have made comments in a sarcastic tone. I explained to him that I am ready and the reasons I feel ready. he told me he is ready to start TTC but this is a very personal thing for him and it is only to be known between me and him. Which I can and will respect. I know that I am a lot more open with friends and family then him. But if he doesn't want our friends to know we are TTC then I can respect that. I knew I had to talk to him and I know that just because he didnt use a condom doesn't mean he is ready for children. I was just hoping, I am sure you guys know what I mean.
So after sitting down with him I feel a lot better and we have decided to put the condoms away and see what happens!
Thanks for the support and not making me feel like I am the only one here!

NicoleB - what you do mean 'ignore the last reply, how childish'?

I was just trying to help? There wasn't a bad or sarcastic remark in my reply so I don't know how you took offence to it. If you did then I sincerely apologise. I don't know how my reply is childish?

I was offering advice from experience but you obviously took it the wrong way for some reason, CAN YOU TELL ME WHY?

I think this is the last time I open up to someone to share my own life experiences to help them when it's rubbed in my face.

I am going through my own major dilemas at the moment but I still have the time to offer help to you and you call me childish?

NicoleB - when you ask for help on a forum and someone offers that advice I wouldn't be nasty about it. I just can't believe the cheek in your reply, especially when I am at my sincerest and especially when I was right about what I said (your husband didn't think you were serious enough about wanting to have a baby).

I am 32 years old, I have a 3 month old and I am pregnant again. I have been through my fair share of life experiences, so I thought I could offer advice on this forum from my experiences but when people like yourslef throw it back in my face it makes me really sad and angry, especially when I am coming from the heart and haven't a sarcastic bone in my body. Like I said I have my own major majore dilemas at the moment but it sounds like someone like yourself probably wouldn't care anyway.

Anyway good luck

Clucky, there was a reply in between your post, and her reply...
It was really rude an childish, but it has been removed now...

Nicole, I am very happy for you that the conversation with your husband turned out well... Good luck TTC, and lots of babydust

Can you tell me what it was because I have only replied to her post twice.

I did however reply to a few other seperate posts asking the administrator to take them off, they were full of foul and disgusting language, maybe one of those was accidently posted on this one? The administrator has taken them all off now. Do you remember these?

There were about 10 or so (maybe more) posts from the same user (but under different names) that didn't make sense and was using the most foul language I have ever read. I replied to each of these to ask the administrator to take them off. The reply would have went something like this....
'WHY HASN'T THE ADMINISTRATOR TAKEN THIS POST OFF. THIS IS OFFENSIVE AND DISGUSTING'....

But surely someone would have realised that I didn't mean for it to end up on this post... seeing as it didn't make sense to this post??

I don't know how one of my replies ended up on this post though?

What makes me angry was that no-one was bothered by these other posts.