Okay so I am comming to this forum for help no discrimination plz. Because I am already in the worst state possible.

About 6 months ago I was forced into the worst decision in my life. And it has forever scarred me and is destroying me. My mother forced me too get an abortion when I was 3 1/2 months pregnant. This was trully a miracle baby for me and my bf. We wanted the baby so bad and losing it was the most devistating thing too ever happen to us.

Too this day I cry and cry and cry and hurt and think about the baby. I even named the baby Naveah Elizabeth Marie. It woulda had the daddies last name. And the even more hurtful thing too this is I was forced to do this after christmas! What a wonderful present huh..

I grieve so much for this baby I'll sit here and talk too it and say I love you soo much and I wish u were still here and I wish my mother never forced me too do this. I hate that I never got to make the decision myself.

I really need help I was wondering if anyone has ever expeirenced this kinda of pain after something this drastic. And what u did to heal and help you get over it because I don't know what to do anymore. It's really destroying me and i cant take it anymore.

Some people do abortions to take the easy way out and do it for the wrong reasons. I am one person who was against abortion and still is but I feel like I can't even say that anymore because I feel like I'd be a hypocrit. And those people don't deserve to have babies in my eyes. They really don't.

This is why Im asking you for no discrimination because this is trully the most horrible thing I have ever been through. And it hurts me everyday and I have forever lost a very big part of my heart.

Now that me and my bf live together and are engaged we are trying to conceive and hopefully right now I am pg. But if not It will make me really upset.

So any advice or help would really be appriciated. I really need it

Sorry for the long writing and everything but I really need help.

I've never been in the situation so I cant relate with you on it, but I am just curious as to how old you are that your mom would be able to force you to have an abortion? Last time I checked it doesnt matter how old you are someone can't make you abort your own child??

There are a lot of online support communities out there for women who have had abortions I'm sure. Also, if it's something you think you need to seek help for I would consider counseling. While a new baby might help ease the pain of your loss I think that it will always be a part of you.

Best of luck for the future

How did you mom force you to do it? Even if you are only 16 no one can force you, it has to be your decision. Anyways, I recommend getting therapy if you can its like losing someone you love in any situation and you must go through a grieving process to heal. I wish you luck and hope you find the peace you seek!

I know there is no age that a person's parent could force their daughter into having an abortion. Im 19 about to be 20 next weekend. And yes I know I am young. But my boyfriend has a wonderful job in constuction and roofing. My mother currently got me at job at her work at GM (General Motors) And after losing the baby we decided we wanted a baby. No matter wether it would be hard or not. We are ready too take the challenge of this.

No matter how much I tried and told her how bad I wanted the baby she would put the pressure on me about having an abortion. I would tell her I was against it and I would never do that. I know people can say it was my decision but I honestly didn't get too make it. Before I even got too say my final decision she had already made an appointment for it. I tried soo hard to tell her I wasn't going too go. But I had to go. My friend had gone with me that day and when we went outside all I could say is I wanna run I want too Run I cant do this. But if I would run I wouldn't of had anywhere too go. They had a counsilor talk to me. They asked me if I felt or was getting forced into this by anyone and I said yes and they still didn't do anything I figured If I had said yes there was they wouldn't of let me do it because of the emotional pain and because of how bad I wanted the baby.

I know you ladies probably think theres no way someone can force that upon you but she did. And it is the worst thing that she has done too me. I honestly blame her everyday and she knows it. It's hard for me too talk to her but I do because she is my mother and I do love her.

As far as counsiling I do want to try that but I am the type of person who usually cannot tell a person who I feel about anything If I don't know them. I can right it online because no one knows who I am. And I can write it on paper and tell my bf and close friends but other then that It's really hard for me too open up too someone I don't know.

This is really so hard for me. And I just wanna heal from it. I know it will never fully go away and there will always be pain but as I said before this is destroying my life. Me and my boyfriend have decided too each write a letter to the baby and just the two of us are going too hold a little memorial in it's memory and say our goodbyes. We are going to bury the letters with a few things that I had gotten for her. And we are going to see if that helps any.

I don't want to give you a hard time. I'm sorry for your loss and what you've been through.

However I have had an abortion and I understand the overwhelming urge to immediately become pregnant to fill that void and ease the grief.

From what I read you're 19 and I'm assuming not married...a dependant adult child (based on your mothers control over your life).

Hopefully this doesn't get me flamed buuuuuut...

While life sometimes throws of us curve balls and things happen unexpectedely if your intention is to plan for this child and plan for this child and yours and your boyfriends life it may be wiser to hold off.

You are still both very young and things change hun. I'm not saying your relationship won't last or you won't make good parents but give sometime for yourselves to grow up, mature, build a life and make the commitment to each other of marriage.

I worry that your response and urge to have a child now is simply your minds solution to what your feeling right now.

No it does not make me mad at all. I understand where u are comming from and I do appriciate your responce. I've yes wanted a baby to help me ease the pain but it's not that reason alone. Babies are amazing and they are wonderful gifts from god. And I would love to be a mother. Yes as I said a baby would help fill the place in my heart.

But there are numerous amounts of reasons as too why I want a baby. If I am not pg now then yes I will wait and build my life with him.

Was there anything you did too help you overcome this hardship. Or help you ease the pain? Because I would really love too know what you did too help you. Thank you for your responce.

I had the abortion on May 7th of this year. I can tell you it does start to get better with time.

My fiance and I talked alot about our feelings. I cried alot and needed extra physical comfort from him, just needed that connection.

I had to force myself to stop day dreaming about the sex and what we might name them. I even still catch myself counting how far along I would be now. You really have to fight that tendancy. What's done is done...as hard as that is to face.

Stop blaming. Stop blaming yourself, your mother, god or anyone else for that matter. We are only human. All of us. For all of our strength and weakness we must forgive, accept and move forward.

I started therapy as well. That has helped IMMENSLY.

The grief is a hard one to deal with. Whether or not you abort or naturally misscarry. Whether you terminated the child through choice, by "force" or for medical reasons. Our minds often cannot differenciate and we grieve non the less. Then we feel guilt. Why should we be allowed to grieve when we chose to terminate? Or we didn't stand up and fight? But you are entitled to your grief. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

I too had the overwhelming urge to get pregnant again right away. And I understand you have many reasons. You do what is right for you but I still truely and honestly believe you should wait. You have plenty of time to be a mother...and no doubt you'll be a wonderful mother.

I hope you get through this. (((hugs)))

Thank you! That really has helped me alot actually. I understand I do need too stop blaming my mother for what has happened. And maybe talking too someone will help me. But as I've stated before it's hard for me to open up to people I don't really know. But I certainly will give it a try.

My birthday is next weekend. And as I also stated we are going to each write a letter too the baby and say our goodbyes. We did name the baby but that is because I've read that if you name the baby it would be easier too help ease the pain. And just hold her in my memories.

I really do want help with this and want to be myself again. I do greive ALOT and it really sucks because it interferes with my daily activities but now I am on the step of healing and I know if I get comfort from my loved ones and some help I should be okay.

I really do appriciate you sharing this with me because it really has opened my eyes too alot. And it does really help me (:

oh you poor thing!I cannot imagine your grief and how you must feel.I havent been through anything so hard and the only suggestion i could make would be to greive properly and forgive yourself.We all do things we regret and you cant keep upsetting yourself over it,obviously you are very sad for what you did but its good you are moving forward by talking about it.I dont know what to suggest but i just wanted to say i cant imagine your pain and im so sorry your going through that!

Thank you very much (:

I am trying as hard as i can to heal from this. But now I also have another obsticle. Since my mother forced me to do that it sucks.

But now my brother got his girlfriend pregnant and I feel as if she wont even try to force him into it so its even harder now. Just knowing that he wont have to do what i had to do kills me so much.

Me and My bf were talking about it yesterday and I told him how much more that will destroy me. He said he knows that it will.

In a way I feel like I should stop talking to my mom because she forced me to do that and not him. But she is my mother and I love her. But he is not even a year older then me. So why not him ya kno. Im not saying I want him to lose his baby. All I am saying is that it's not fair she had to put me through that and not him. Idk.. But too me thats kinda unforgiveable. Idk.