This is my first time posting on a pregnancy forum. My wife and I have been married 13 yrs and have no kids. Last week, we were on cloud 9 my wife went in for a routine papsmere and was told she was 6 weeks 5 days pregnant. This was a shock because my wife does not have regular periods and we had more or less given up on the chance of having a baby. We accepted it years ago and went forward. The sonogram showed the baby had a heartbeat and they printed an image that we proudly displayed on the fridge. My wife went and bought a book about pregnancy and was the happiest I've ever seen her. A few days ago, she started to notice very light spotting and was so scared. We scheduled an appt with Kaiser today because the spotting was going on it's third day today. My wife must have a sixth sense because she was right we lost the baby. The ultrasound showed the baby grew from .81 to .91 but it also only showed a projected age of 6 weeks 6 days? So, our joy really ended the very next day after we learned about the pregnancy. Today would have been 8 weeks. The sonogram showed no heartbeat so it confirmed what my wife feared.

Sorry for the long post...so why I am here? My wife is so upset she cannot stop crying. They placed some pills in her to make the baby come out. I guess it didn't happen automatically or something? She's asleep now (Vicodin for the pain) and I feel miserable. What should I do for her? How can I help her? I'm 40 yrs old and my wife is 37..any advice to comfort her? At our age do we really have a chance to have a baby? Anyone else have a baby over 35? Thanks for reading sorry for the long post..

Im sorry you are going through this, I know how hard it must be. But yes it is possible for you to have a baby after 35 just keep trying and stay positive and Im sure it will happen again! The good news is, you know she can get pregnant now! You just have to keep trying. Give her some time she is grieving which is totally normal and she will get through it in time just be there to comfort her and tell her everything will be ok and reassure her that there is still hope and thats really all you can do. I suggest talking to your dr about ways to conceive.

I'm so sorry to hear about this, I can imagine how devastated you both are.

But yes, at least you both know that nothing is wrong with your parts, and that you CAN get pregnant. And you are both still young, and can definitely have a baby!

Thanks for the kind words I really appreciate it. My wife is doing better but still pretty sad. If we can take anything positive out of this it's that she did get pregnant. We're still trying to accept that it actually happened. We have tried Clomid in the past (10 years ago) with no success. I realize now that there isn't much I can do but comfort her and try to reassure her that things will get better. I feel sad but more angry that she had to go through all this pain. This morning she said that the pain that she had yesterday (physical pain) from the Misoprostol was the worse she's ever had. Thanks for listening.

I am very sorry to hear you lost something you wanted very dearly. I do not know if you have tried this route yet but her doctor can prescribe some medicine to help her ovulate which will boost your odds of conception. I know of many many couples between the ages of 35-40 who have had their first child at that age range so hope is not lost. Good luck, and I hope you find peace

I'm soooo very sorry for you both!

Like everyone said, now you know you CAN get pregnant! I say keep trying and don't loose hope.

I'm very sorry to hear about your loss. My first MC was earlier this year. We were not "trying", so it came as as a little bit of a shock. Just as quickly as the joy came, it was gone. I cried for weeks and ended up needing to take some time off work.

We had another MC on July 4th. Honestly, it was not as bad. I did not get my hopes up and did not suffer nearly as much as the first. We are now trying again.

{{{{{Hugs}}}}}

Sorry for your loss. As for what you can do for your wife, exactly what you are. Be there and be understanding. She's going to have a lot of ups and downs as she comes to terms with the loss of a child, and she'll need you to be supportive as she works through this at her own pace. Do what you would normally do to comfort her when she was upset and just be there when she's ready to try and talk through it.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

You sound like a very concerned husband. That is already one of the best things you can do. Just caring, wanting to help is very important. Grieving is such a weird process. You can have all sorts of emotions hit you at the weirdest times. Think of those 5 steps and know that they don't necessarily happen in that order, and they can happen over a very long period of time if you let them. I suggest not letting them. If things are getting hard for either of you, I suggest you seek a therapist. There is nothing but strength in realizing that some things are just better to go through with someone who understands the process better than your average layperson.

You seem to be going through a rough time of it yourself, as well, so I suggest you don't neglect your own feelings. I can't speak from experience but it seems to me that sometimes people kind of ignore the father and don't comfort him because it's the mother who was carrying the baby.

You sound like you're already doing a good job by being so concerned for her. I'd suggest letting her feel things as she needs to for a while but do keep an eye on her and yourself.

Sorry for you both. It is good to know that you are staying strong for your wife. At least someone can comfort her. This is something that I myself can hardly overcome but with the support of friends and family, I guess there will come a time I can move on.

Keep supporting her. Make her know that there is life after the miscarriage and that there is still a chance that she can get pregnant in the future. My aunt got pregnant when she was 39. I also know some people who got pregnant at their early 40s so don't lose hope. Seek a doctor'e help on how you can plan better to have a baby. Who knows?