Well morning/noon/night sickness is back. its horrible i have learned that toast and butter is not good when ur sick. well me and my bf got in a fight well he actually got in a fight with his sister in law and i tried to pull him out of the house to relax and stop screaming aand he kept not listening to me and she was going to call cops on him and then she said the most hurtful thing ever. i was on her side too trying to help him get out and i didnt even say a word to her. she goes ur going to be terrible parents and u are messed up parents. thats when i lost it and just ran out crying i cant deal with that im 19 maybe he wont be a good parent but if i have this baby i will give it everying i have to give. then he got mad cause i left and told me to stay home and dont come back. i am 8 weeks almost 9 weeks and i have noone my family doesnt kno and i just dont know what to do. my bf had a temper that i nevr seen before and it scared me i will raise my baby on my own if i have too. i have been trying to keep myself stress free obviously that didnt help plus i have anxiety attacks so i have to be careful about that and the other day i got prenatal vitamins and took it the first day ..almost made me sick again ... i would have taken it last night but i couldnt keep anything down so i figured there was no point. things have not been easy

I am now 9 weeks and my morning sickness seemed to go away. hopefully it will stay like that. i have a drs appt next week where i should have my first u/s very scarred. still trying to find the courage to tell my mom

Well By now I thought I would be 10 weeks 3 days. Well I had my first scan today and saw my baby (YAYYYYY) and in fact Im only 9 weeks 5 days along. The doctor saw the heartbeat So im so excitted. I could see everything except for the babys legs cause they were crossed. but the baby had both arms above his/her head. so cute. I was so happy. It didnt hit me that there was a baby there (obviously i knew but to actually see it is amazing) They asked me if I wanted to do the test to test for like down syndrome and stuff like that and i said yes but now i dont know . I dont know if i wanna know.
I think my boyfriend(Father of the baby) is cheating on me. I dont know if i could raise my baby on my own and i dont want my baby to not have a father cause my father wasnt there. Why is stuff always difficult

Hey Kris,

How are both of you doing now (you and baby)?

I hope things have started improving between you and your b/f. In this stage, you need to be as happy as you can, take good care of yourself, eat good diet and keep away from -ve thoughts, fights etc.

Your journal is quite touching. I am moved after reading it.

I wish I was local to you and could have helped you in any way.

By now I hope you have told your family about your pregnancy, if not, do that. Its never too late. They will stand by you in every storm, cause they are Family.

Wish you all the luck girl!

Neha

Thankyou
I am doing good so is the baby I have gotten slightly bulgier in the tummy. and have a 15 week scan at 15 weeks. Me and the bf still have good and bady days but he still says he will stick by me and the baby.
I havent told my mom yet but my bfs dad and most of his family found out and will support me and allowed me to live with them and everythign and will help me and throw me a baby shower if i need one.
My m/s finally stopped But now I have if i dont eat every like 2 hours i feel like im going to gag mnay ppl say its due to low blood sugar.
Well I will update moretonight when i get out of spanish class.

well I will be 13 weeks tomorrow. Time seems to be getting by so slow. Some symptoms have went away but my nose always feels like its burning like my sinuses are terrible and the whole cm is awful. I always feel like im bleeding its scarry. But i dont feelpregnant maybe cuz the mornig sickness stopped but Im excitted to go to the doctors again in 2 weeks to see the baby . Some of my pants stopped fitting me Which is very upsetting cause they fit me since high school I only a junior in college but tis still depressing. Me and another girl at work were talking about how she thought she was pregnant but she is not. And I came out and told herI was 3 months pregnant and she told me that you cant even tell .Of course I can tell but i guess if i look in the mirror i just looked like i gained a couple of pounds in which i did and my boobs got really big( sorry tmi) but they did. I hope they do an ultrasound next appt. and I get a picture I really want my bf/fob to be there when they do the scan.

Well I left my job as a waitress they wanted me to work for 10 hours and lately my sciatic nerve has been hurting so bad and standing just aggravtes it. And we pretty much dont get no break and there was no way I could do it I oculdnt even bend down w/o being in pain. So I need to find a job. So anyway my scan is in a little less then 2 weeks Im so excitted but dont know what to expect at the 2nd drs appt. I will be 15 weeks. But I hope they can give me stronger medcine for the headaches i been getting. they are terrible. I think after this drs. appt i want to tell my bf/fob mom. and eventually tell my mom. .
So i have discovered when i eat or even slightly bloated I look huge whihc is definitly not good.

So much has happened good and bad all testing my limits. The other night me and my sister went to the store she is 23. And she comes up to me and says r u pregnant and i couldnt say anything . and she was like you are arent u . And i asked if my mom new and she said yes. apparently a letter came in the mail that day and said congrats i was going to give birth from the hospital i was going for monthly checkups. So she was in complete shock and i was almost in tears through out the entire store and she was like y didnt u tell us we could have helped u and told me i need to ocme home( i am currently living at my college) so i ended up going home and i almost dropped my grocerys and starting cryign hysterical and my mom kept saying whats wrong what happened an di wa slike u know u know. and i sat down and she sat down at the table and said ur pregnant arent u . and she was like im not mad im here to help u and she tryed to calm me down and said how she will do anything she can to help me i cryed and couldnt look at her the entire time. after over 3months of hiding it it was ok and they were there for me but i was still scarred cause i know are lives would change. so that night the fpb my then bf accused me of stuff and said that im a lier and he wanted nothing to do with me and would only be there for the baby. i cried so much i was so scarred. the day after i told my mom she says that he is scarred and trying to find any reason possible to run (he is 22). so he finally started talking to me today through test and he said he still would go with me to my doctors appt next week and tonight im going over his house and talking hopefully we can works through everything . cause i want the baby to have both parents. even though we arent living together but it would be better if we were in a relationship. so we should see what happens tonight. Besides that my mom and I think I am having a boy.
O im ranting now there are 2 guys in my dorm room that our friends with my roomates and they are obnoxious and they never leave. ughh and i have to wait till like an hour and a half to leave.

well friday I was walking across campus and i got this awful pain in my lower abdomin(sp?) and it was to the point where i had to lean forwrd to walk so I made it to class and was a little early so i sat in the hallway tried to eat and drink but that didnt help it. Well I sat through class in pain luckily she let us out after 40 minutes. As soon as i got out normally i would go to my 2 and a half hour class but i called my mom and told her i was in pain and she had me come home. so i laid down as shet got ready and she drove me to the hospital. Well i tell them Im about 4 months pregnant and im in sevre pain. You would think i would be a priority. Nope they made us wait 6 and a half hours in the waiting room. We didnt get seen till 12:30 in the morning so theuy did urines test and blood test. And gave me a physical check up. by the time the pain had dulled alot caused i sat for 6 hours. And they were feeling my stomach worried it could be a couple things. At first they thought i would have a Misscarriage but i wasnt bleeding yet. Well it took them 4 hours to take an ultrasound. Well turns out my baby is prolly healthier then me. very upset that this ultrasound machine kept poking it but the heart was vrey vissible and beating like crazy. It was so amazing to se it my mom was there with me. So ofcourse the guy didnt save the info and another doctor had to come in and do ultrasounds to record the heartbeat and get a bpm reading. So well the baby was vrey upset this time. And you actually could see its hand like try to push it away then when they were tryign to record the heartbeat the baby would like jump up and down on its back it was so cut efinally the baby settled down and was sucking its thumb. It was so cute. It had a belly button and everything. The bpm was 138 bpm which only makes me think more that its a boy. He or she will defffinitly be very stubborn and active it deffinitly has its own personality. But anyway it turns out i had a low white blood count which caused a uti and slight contractions with possible dehydration. . I really do hate hopsitals

i can't belive it took them that long to check everyhing out for you! I am sorry to hear that but glad your baby is good. Do you have any names for a boy you are thinking about? some ppl do not like to share the names they are thinking so i understand if you do not want to. That is great that your mom is there now. the guy is not good though.... Good luck i hope everything works out for you. Can't wait to hear another update on you and the baby!