Ugh, I hate this nausea stuff. I mean it comes and goes and as long as I stay away from things that smell and eat certain things, I'm fine. But...I feel like crap overall. I don't remember feeling this run down with any of my other pregnancies. With my first I felt awful with bad morning sickness so maybe but that was 15 years ago, I can't remember that too well.

My son was great, I didn't have any morning sickness and just two dizzy spells early on.

With my youngest I remember having morning sickness, but I remember that as long as I ate I was fine. And my last one I had the flu on top of ms, so it was bad. I just don't remember feeling so run down.

All weekend, other than us running some errands, I've been in bed. I've taken naps which are great and I never get to do that. But I hate feeling so run down.

I stopped taking my iron the other day (I take them at night) bc I read it could make ms worse. I think that's why it hasn't been as bad.

Then last night I didn't even take my prenatal, in which I feel even better. So I'm thinking those pills were making me feel worse. I don't know.

I tell myself and my hubby, 5 more weeks of feeling crappy and then I'm in the 2nd trimester where it should clear as it has in the past.

Well, I remembered with my last pregnancy, my dd, I took ginger capsules to help with the nausea. I don't remember how well it worked, but today I'm venturing out to get some and try again. I'm so beat I literally feel drained, like there's nothing left of me. I can't wait till I'm out of this phase.

On the other hand, I have my 8 week appt on Monday that I'm looking forward to.

I'm off to go get dd from summer school and then come back to bed. Oh the joy.

After lunch yesterday I really began to feel better. Today as well. Last week we bought a new ford expedition for our expanding family. I currently have a dodge charger r/t road and track. I love my car. But there is no way I'll have room for another in there especially since I carpool for my daughter and one of her friends, that's 3 kids with one more and then I'm having one more, yeah no room. Anyways, the smell of that truck was making me so sick I stopped driving it. That new car smell was too much for me, it was that or the treatment they put on the leather. I don't know.

Today I drove it and I didn't get sick from it. Still some smells still bother me, like the cat food, barf. But I'm glad to see some improvement. I still have all my other symptoms, sore bb's, mild headaches here and there. I rather tolerate this with the few things that smell bothering me than everything before that was bothering me.

I'm just hoping it doesn't come back in full force.

For father's day we were going to drive out to Vegas and visit my mom and grandma. Hubby wanted to get away since work has been stressing him out. But with this morning sickness, not a good idea to go on a 5 hour drive at this time. We'll probably wait until the fall when the weather cools down since in two weeks I'm having the cvs testing done and it'll be really hot by then.

I ended up dropping one of my classes. With this m/s I couldn't take it. I've been in bed most of the time. I see my dr Monday and he'll be wirting me up a leave of absence for school until March of next year. We all (dr, hubby and myself) thought it would be best since next quarter starts in August and I'll be 4 months, as the quarter goes on I fall into that zone of when I tend to go into premature labor and with school being in Los Angeles, 30 minutes from me, I can't risk it. I hate to set myself back a year, I really thought I could handle it. But realistically I can't. My mil wants to help out with the baby after it's born and the kids will all be in school all day (seeing as my youngest just finished half day kindergarten) it'll be easier for me to go in the mornings instead of nights.

Now I'm trying to decide what I'm going to have for lunch since nothing seems appealing anymore. Oh the days of when I desired food.

Ohh how I feel for you.. It's funny we are about a week apart and our stories are really similar! I am due around Jan 20th or so... I am about 8 weeks and 2 days and am also going to school and work f/t . This is our first child together so we are really excited but I had about 1.5 left and well as the old saying goes, "man makes plans, god laughs." I too cannot find anything I want to eat at home. The baby seems to love BBQ and mexican food lol...I miss the days when I had a weekly lunch, dinner schedule I can't do that anymore because I just never know what I will want to eat... hang in there...

Well, it's been a week or so since I posted.

In the past week I saw my dr and had another u/s in which everything looked great. I even have a pic to show:

HB was 160 and it looks like the baby is growing on time, dr says baby's measuring ahead by a few days.

I'm starting to get really scared and worried. My last pregnancy ended at 9 weeks according to the us I had at 10 weeks. Yesterday I turned 9 weeks.

I remember when I hit 9 weeks I started to get some maternity clothes bc I was not fitting into my clothes too well. I also remember all of a sudden feeling great. The ms had gone away and I just felt great.

Yesterday we went to the movies. It was the first time I got out in weeks with this ugly nausea I've been feeling taking over my life. Getting out made me feel much better, took my mind off of the nausea. Especially since I spend every moment in bed. Although when I started to get hungry I started to feel sick. But I ate right away and snacked on popcorn and I was doing fine, oh and drinking sprite seems to help. Not only that, we went shopping for maternity clothes.

Usually every morning to help with my ms I have a glass of orange juice to calm my stomach right away from the morning hunger since at that same time I start to feel sick too. Then about an hour alter I have some frosted mini wheats and I'm good til about 11am for lunch or early lunch. I've been eating every 3 hours to help, as long as I don't have to cook it myself I'm fine, since the smells get to me.

Anyhow, today I wake up and have my juice. Haven't had any cereal yet, but I'm actually starting to feel a bit better. I feel slight nausea but very minimal. So of course I start to panic wondering if everything is ok. I do remember my dr saying 8 weeks is the peak and then after that I should start to feel better by week 10.

My dr's appt isn't until the 21st only bc my cvs testing is on the 14th. It was going to be on the 13th and my cvs on the 3rd, but the cvs dr is going on vacation for the holiday so I was moved up by like 10 days. So this of course messed up my ob appt since I have been seen every 2 weeks due to my high risk history. Now I won't be seen for a month.

Now I'm wondering if I should call them tomorrow and see if I should go in earlier.

I can't help but to feel this paranoia kick in. My first miscarriage was at 6 weeks so once I passed that fine I felt good. But since I won't be seen for awhile, I can't help but to worry even though I should be taking it easy.

In the meantime, I ordered a doppler so I can hear the heart beat at home. I can't wait for it to arrive and try it out.

Well, I'm off for now. It's getting hot here and I need to turn the ac on. Whew!

Well, I still feel like crap so I'm taking it as a good sign. And to top it off, it's 107 here today. Thank goodness for air conditioning.

So today I woke up to spotting yet again. But no cramping, I still feel like crap and was actually really nauseous last night after hubby cooked, blech I couldn't handle the smell.

I think it's bc I stress all the time. I really need to not stress about stuff. But it seems the older you get, the more you worry about things (and I actually learned that in my psychology class that as you get older you worry about certain things and being in your thirties it's about life in general). And my problem is I worry about anything and I don't even realize it. I've been this way since I was a kid. I just can't relax.

So I've decided we need a vacation. Since I can't fly, I'm going to plan out a camping trip to Northern Cali. It'll only take about 4-6 hours of driving. We can go for a few days or for a week. I want to see the redwoods. I just want to get away to cooler places with trees and forest. Things I love. Not only that, since the governor here plans on closing the parks after summer, I thought we better see them before we may never see them again.

So I think that's what we'll do. Hubby's under a lot of stress with work too so it'll be good. Kids finish summer school in a few weeks and we can go then. I'm going to talk to my dr about it and see what he thinks and if I get the go ahead then we'll go.

Well, the spotting stopped, just like before. And there wasn't any cramping.

My home doppler came yesterday that I got off ebay. I can't hear anything yet but I know it's bc it's still early, I'm only 9w5d today. But I'll keep trying every day about once a day.

My stress level actually went down as the day progressed. I just hope I can keep it this way.

My school was giving me a hard time saying I can only take 2 quarters off when I need 3. They said it's in your handbook. Well guess what, I never got a handbook. So I asked for one and no one has one. They said they would email me a copy. Haven't gotten it yet. I'm going to check if it applies to pregnancy bc this is bs.

In the meantime I'm transferring schools. This school is horrible and I'm paying $80k for a half ass education. Teachers don't teach well, tutors aren't available after 4:30pm (I take night classes) and my core classes aren't available at night when I was promised when I signed up they would be able to work with MY schedule no matter what. How the hell are you suppose to learn AUTOCAD online?? All my designer friends tell me they are nuts and you cannot learn that way. Even my 3 engineer friends tell me it's crazy.

So I've decided I'm contacting the president of the college and reporting them to everyone that's involved with education.

Ok, now that I got that off my chest...I'm feeling better today.

Oh my goodness, it's been too long since my last post.

Today I am 11weeks exactly.

I've been on bed rest, I had my CVS test on Thursday, It was suppose to be this coming Tuesday but the dr has jury duty coming up. Better for me bc I get my results that much sooner, LOL. Besides finding out if the baby is healthy, we get to find out the sex too.

Anyhow, everything went just fine. I've been staying in bed per dr's orders. He said after 24 hours I could shower and get up. We actually went out to a new restaurant out here last night, Mexican and it was good and gorgeous inside. Since I am studying Architectural Design(Interior) and Mexican decor is my favorite (it's what's in my house) I was having a ball just looking around.

My back was really starting to hurt laying down so much though so it was nice to get out.

It went very well. I will say that at the last minute I broke down crying and felt scared. Of what, I'm not sure. We had the ultrasound first. And I think my biggest worry was that there would be no heartbeat. I had miscarried the last time at 10 weeks so I think that's why I was scared.

The first thing I asked the tech was if there was a heartbeat. She reassured me the baby was alive and kicking just by showing me this red area first that indicated blood was flowing. She then went on and we saw the heart beating and the baby moving around so much. She said it was a very active baby.

image removed

If you look closely (and the tech pointed this out to us) the baby is holding onto the umbilical cord. How funny! Hubby was really excited to see the baby moving about just as I was. I actually bawled like a baby. Damn hormones!

I didn't feel a thing and yes it was done vaginally. The only thing I felt that I did not like one bit as it really surprised me that I grabbed hold of my husband next to me and he cringed was when the dr cleaned me out with iodine and a swab. That was the ugliest part I ever felt. It didn't hurt, but was very uncomfortable oh and the tech was digging the us thing into my belly. But the actual procedure was nothing and done within 5 minutes, literally.

Although we waited for 3 hrs as the dr was running behind.

Overall I feel just fine. Still nauseous from ms. Yesterday I had these sharp pains briefly and very little bleeding in which they told me I would experience. Today it's just brown and almost nothing.

I have been feeling little flutters/twitches all yesterday and today and I know the baby is becoming more active especially after what I saw yesterday.

Overall it was great. I get my results in about 7-14 days. I have my ob appt next Thursday.

I have a follow up appt in 9 weeks for my cvs.

I'm really glad I did it.

As far as my nausea, it's gotten better but I still have my moments. But much more tolerable. I really just feel and I think I said this before, run down. I see my OB on the 16th and I'm going to talk to him about that.

One thing we did talk about last visit was the fact that back in January and March of last year, my glucose was coming back at 120. He said I have a higher chance for gestational diabetes. I'm really hoping not. I haven't been eating sweets for anything bc they gross me out right now. But I do crave tomatoes, they are just so yummy. And I never really cared for them before. I'm craving anything fresh really, carrots, cucumber, etc.

I still can't tolerate anyone cooking in the house. It's gotten better, but NO garlic. I actually cooked the other night. Dijon chicken with broccoli rice and cheese. All from scratch of course, no boxed frozen stuff. Everyone was happy and loved it. I'm trying to get back into cooking more. Slowly. My MIL makes stuff and then has hubby pick it up.

It's just for some reason, when you cook, the smell lingers and I can't handle it. Makes me want to get sick. And I'm a wuss with getting sick.

But, my apple tree has produced and abundance of apples and I'll be making apple pie this weekend for the family. Every year the tree flowers in the Spring and then is ready by summer with tons of apples. And they are sweet and yummy.

It fits in with my craving for anything fresh. I've been eating them like crazy. I'm thinking of making apple butter too. We'll see how I feel. Right now I'm feeling fine. No sicky, weak feeling. Maybe since I'm 11 weeks I'll start to feel better as I'm nearing the end of my first trimester.

Anyhow, I love baking. I love to do it just to do it and not to eat it. I'm weird I know. But it's just the whole I did it and it looks yummy thing for me. And then seeing my family enjoy it makes me happy.

So that's it for now.

11w3d

Since Sunday I have been feeling a lot better. Still run down though.

I made 4 apple pies on Sunday. Gave 1 to MIL, 1 for us and two I shipped to my mom and grandma in Nevada so they got it the next day.

These are by far the best apple pies I have ever tasted. I love that I was able to bake all day without feeling sick. MIL helped peel all the apples for me whiel I cut and cored with my handy dandy tool.

I made the crust from scratch as well. It came out so flakey and yummy.

Today I am going to make peach pie. I really do enjoy baking more than eating it. I hope one day I can have my own bakery, I have this thing for cupcakes and I can make the best and decorate the best cupcakes around. Holidays, birthdays, bbq's etc I always make and decorate cupcakes and everyone loves the skill put into them.

Anyways, other than that, I'm fine. I see my dr Thursday and can't wait. I am also excited to find out the results of my cvs test I had last Thursday. Waiting a week or so is torturing me. And hubby too and everyone else that keeps asking us if everything is ok and what is it.

I've got some things to do today, it's my sons 8th bday Saturday and we're having a pool party for him so I need to get ready for that.