I am going to make this short, well I will try.

I am a 22yr old college student. I am working my way through college. I have not been sexually active in two years except once this past January. I was slipped a date rape drug by a stranger at a bar here on campus. After being two weeks late, I took a pregnancy test. Negative. A week later no period. Took another test, well two and both came up positive within 30secs. I am not on any medication or anything to screw with the results of the test. I am going on Wednesday to a pregnancy clinic in town to get some options. I know nothing needs to be decided right this minute, but I am a 5yr planner. I can't not plan ahead. This is not something I planned on at all. I never wanted to be a parent, I want a career. That is just how I figured my life would always be. So now with this, I always thought abortion would be where I would turn too. Except I don't think I can, even if I had the finances, I don't think that is something I could do. Another twist is I am adopted. I have been in reunion with my birthparents and siblings. I was placed in an abusive adoptive home and I can honestly say, if growing up with my bio parents or my adoptive parents, which life would have been easier. I definitely do not want to parent. So that leaves me with adoption. I know alot of people on all sides of the adoption triad, I am very active in adoptee rights and I feel like I am going against the grain of something I strongly dislike, adoption. Honestly, that seems to be the only option that I can see myself living with the consequences of.

I guess I am just looking for any kind of support, encouragement, ideas...

Thanks

first off, i'm sorry that someone did that to you. that's very sad, and they will pay for their actions soon enough. second...i'm glad to hear that you dont think an abortion would be a good option for you. i know that the way this baby came about isn't right, but the baby shouldn't be punished for the father's actions. if you really feel that you just do NOT want this baby, then adoption is the best option. i honestly would normally tell people that they should try to keep the baby (and i do think that would be the best thing), BUT if you just think that you cant take care of them because of your past, and if you would ultimately choose your career over them, then adoption would be in the best interest of the baby. i know people who have been adopted at different stages of their lives (from newborn to 16 years old) and they truly have better lives with their adoptive parents then they would have/did with their biological parents. i'm not saying that you cant give your baby a good enough life and that anyone else can do better. i'm just trying to make a point that adoption can be a very good thing. you just really have to think about it, and pray about it. and i'm sorry if i'm offending you in any way by saying this, but the whole "5 year plan" thing is good, but you HAVE to learn how to deal with the unexpected as well. just because you had a 5 year plan for yourself doesnt mean that this baby has to be shoved out of the way so that it can still happen. whatever plans you had WILL change regardless of whether or not you keep this baby. and for all you know it could change for the better if you keep them. just stop trying to plan everything and control everything, and change your focus into making sure that you take care of yourself throughout this pregnancy, and do whats best for this baby. it's not all about you anymore, and as scary as that may sound (trust me, i'm 21 and just had my daughter not too long ago and i before i was pregnant it was ALL ABOUT ME.lol), it's really not bad at all. it's actually very rewarding to know that you are the reason that a beautiful and healthy baby was brought into this world. maybe you just need to make some new plans? you can still have a career and have a baby at the same time. just make sure that if you do decide to keep the baby that you choose them over your career. do not neglect them for your own personal desires. i hope everything works out for you and your baby.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you. You said he was a stranger, so I'm guessing you have no way of identifying him or trying to press any charges against him.

I can't tell you what you should do in this situation, as it is 100% your choice, and I can't even begin to fathom how you must be feeling. All I can do is offer support in your decision. If you are a believer, then pray about it. Ultimately, you will make the decision that works best for you.

Good luck.

Well there is such a thing as open adoption if you are concerned that something like what you experienced will also happen to you child. If you decide to go that way then you could look into doing that.

I also second what wingless said, open adoption may be a good choice for you because then you can check in on the welfare of your child and be a part of his/her's life. Whatever your decision, I hope you get counseling and resources to help you heal. Best wishes

I third the open adoption thing!! That will be the best option for you I believe. Good luck with your decision and let us know what you choose!

BTW: That is horrible for what he did to you. Well, Karma is a B****. He'll get his soon.

Breann

Omg sweetie, I am so sorry that happened to you, that is terrible Now that we got that out of the way, I just wanna say that I really admire you for looking at all your options, and factoring the needs of your baby into the equation. It must be very hard not to be selfish in this situation. I think whatever you decide to do with your baby will be a great decision, whether it be adoption, or keeping him/her. You sound like you have a very good head on your shoulders, and I am confident you will follow your heart in this situation Also, making plans on top of plans for things in life will just leave you with disappointment! I mean, yes, it is great to plan things, and strive to achieve goals you have set for yourself, but remember, we all have trials and tribulations and there are always detours along the way. It doesn't matter what situation is thrown at you, it matters more how you decide to handle it I am very confident this won't ruin your life, in fact, this is probably a blessing in disguise!

I am so sorry this happened to you. This has to be the toughest choice you will ever make in life, and I cannot ever imagine what you must be going through. I myself have been blessed by adoption. The day I met my son's birthmom is the day our lives changed forever!! The bond I have with my son's birthmom is such a special one. We have a semi-open adoption. She may see him whenever she likes. I still communicate with her, and send lots of pictures and updates. Our son, is our world! After years of heartache, tears and prayers...Our prayers were answered and we have a son!! There are no words to say other then birthmom's are angels who bless a family with more love then they will ever know! I am praying for you and your little one. I am so sorry you grew up in an abusive adoptive home. I could not imagine my life without being a mommy. This has been something I have wanted and waited for so long. Children are so precious and giving them the gift of life is a special kind of love that speaks volumns about a birthmom!! I witnessed that love from my son's birthmom and it is a love I will never forget. I hope you can find peace in whatever decision you make.